Earlier in the week, I predicted the top fifteen in Pitchfork’s Top 200 Songs of the ’90s.

I went 7/15. Three of the other picks were represented somewhere in the top thirty-five. The rest were disregarded for other tracks by the same artist (all of the acts I mentioned showed up somewhere). In the introduction, the staff warned, “For the first time, the age of the writer being polled had a huge impact on how he or she understood the music of the decade at hand,” and that was definitely true. You could sense a weird mixture of classicism and subjectivity, people voting for a song they loved in high school and people voting for a song they would have loved if they had been in high school back then. I know that it’s not intentional, but it reads like contrarian bullshit. (And they left so much on the table. You’re telling me Isolee’s “Beau Mot Plage” is better than “Enter Sandman” or anything by the Fugees or Red Hot Chili Pepers? Get over yourself, assholes. “I Want It That Way” is a good fucking song.)

15. Depeche Mode- “Enjoy the Silence”- I forgot this came out in the ’90s. I don’t like Depeche Mode, but I get why the song showed up this high on the list.

14. The Notorious B.I.G.- “Juicy”- Where this belongs depends on how you view this list. Biggie is one of the two or three most important artists of that decade, so I think his signature song should hold more water than this. If you’re viewing it on just the strength of the song alone, it should still be in the top ten.

13. Nirvana- “Smells Like Teen Spirit”- This is laughable. I knew they would be apologetic and cool about mentioning this song, but I thought it would be number three or four. Not number thirteen. On any level, this is an inexcusable choice. Obviously, everyone was too cool to put it in his top five.

12. Aphex Twin- “Windowlicker”- The placement of this song is about right. I would have swapped it with Daft Punk personally, but I’m not mad about it being the highest rated song of the “electronica” wave.

11. Bjork- “Hyperballad”- I hate Bjork. Sorry. I know I’m supposed to like her, and I’ve tried several times. But I hate Bjork. I should have known she would make the top fifteen. I blame myself.

10. Weezer- “Say It Ain’t So”- I don’t know how I missed this one. It works as nostalgia for even the youngest of Pitchfork writers and, objectively, it’s the most technically perfect Weezer song there is. Everyone loves this.

9. Beck- “Loser”- This song sounds dated to me, so I thought they would go with a song from Odelay, which is a much better album. The accompanying write-up justifies the choice pretty well though.

8. Aaliyah- “Are You That Somebody?”- I love this song, but I didn’t expect it to be so high. I assumed the fact it was on the Dr. Dolittle soundtrack would hurt it. Then again, Aaliyah is dead. (I also thought it would split the vote with “Try Again,” but I didn’t realize “Try Again” came out in 2000. A little research would have done me some good.)

7. Neutral Milk Hotel- “Holland, 1945”- Perfect where it is. This is one of the best songs ever. If you haven’t heard it, kill yourself. Or listen to it and then be incapable of killing yourself because you’re so uplifted by it.

6. My Bloody Valentine- “Only Shallow”- Another early ’90s song that I forgot about. It’s actually a great choice; this song is a monster.

5. Wu-Tang Clan- “Protect Ya Neck”- I should have guessed that the Clan would break the top five. They deserve it.

4. Radiohead- “Paranoid Android”- All music critics like Radiohead, and this is the band’s clear ’90s standout. It seemed like an obvious number one, which is exactly why it wasn’t number one.

3. Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Doggy Dogg- “Nuthin’ but a G Thang”- Legit.

2. Pulp- “Common People”- Again, this is a fantastic song. But the second best song of the entire decade? You’re playing yourself, Pitchfork. Did one of you only listen to Britpop for the whole decade, and then talk everyone else into this 12 Angry Men-style?

1. Pavement- “Gold Soundz”- This isn’t even the best song on the album Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain (“Stop Breathin” is.). It barely cracks the top ten of Pavement songs. Seriously, this pick shows what the staff was going for with the list overall. The write-up even admits: “There are a lot of ways to think about the music of a decade. Sometimes when you sit down to make a list like this, you think about songs that seemed important— maybe they changed music or were emblematic of prevailing trends in culture. And then sometimes you think about songs that make you feel good whenever they come on.” Why not call the list the “Top 200 Songs That Make Mark Richardson Feel Good” then? What a crock of shit. Why do I care so much about this again?

At least I like Pavement. I can’t imagine this list getting into the hands of a normal person.