Occasionally, someone will compliment me on an article of clothing I’m wearing. Perhaps this same exchange has happened to you:
“I love your shirt.”
“Thank you. That’s sweet of you to say.” (That’s always my response. Be a gentleman and throw that compliment right back. The word “sweet” is key too. It’s disarming.)
“Where’d you get it?”
“…”

I never have a cool response, so the conversation is automatically over. All of my clothes come from some combination of Macy’s, Urban Outfitters, J. Crew, and The Gap. That’s it.* I’m going to say one of those stores’ names, and the person is going to shoot me an underwhelmed expression. She’ll be somehow disappointed in both me for shopping at unimaginative, middle-class stores and herself for being impressed by completely average fashion. Let’s say—most interesting case scenario—I bought the shirt online somewhere. I’m not going to sound like a weirdo and go: “Have you heard of www.nomas-nyc.com? What about www.outofprintclothing.com? I like the shirt I got there almost as much as the one I bought from www.distantreplays.com!” Chances are, I’ll just go, “Online somewhere.” Again, end of conversation.

But what did she expect? That I have my own loom on which I sew men’s dress shirts? That I designed my own pattern of plaid and commissioned this bespoke one-of-one shirt? I got it at the mall.

Is there a possible cool answer for that question? Let me know. Are there dudes who just go, “I’ll never tell my secrets” and run away? Do people wear shirts that have been in their families for generations? Do people win shirts off people’s backs in card games and stuff? I can’t even imagine a scenario in which this question doesn’t paint me into a corner.

*- I mean, don’t get me wrong. I swag the shit out of everything I have. I just don’t have the money (or, frankly, the figure) to get my gear at cool places.