My reactions:

1. My adolescence and I determine that this has to be some type of Advanced game for Weezer by now. They’re trying to tell us something profound.

2. Maybe, rather than stacking this StateFarm paper for Rivers’ own lucre, my adolescence and I imagine he maintains an orphanage and takes whatever extra jobs he can to feed all of the starving children. His heart’s just too big. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

3. Who are my adolescence and I kidding? Wouldn’t never having to pay car insurance again be worth this? Imagine that. What would you do to never pay auto insurance again?

4. Every generation needs its KISS.