Fat Joe feat. Young Jeezy- “Ha Ha (Slow Down, Son)”
From the upcoming album The Darkside, Vol. 1

I genuinely love this song, but it’s also really stupid. Every Fat Joe album has one great single, and every great Fat Joe single has a few lines that are totes hilars in their puffed up absurdity. For instance, in “Lean Back,” he explains:

Can’t keep tellin’ me to speak about the Rucker,
Matter ‘fact, I don’t wanna speak about the Rucker,
Not even Pee-Wee Kirkland could imagine this,
My niggas didn’t have to play to win the championship.

Okay, so Fat Joe coaches a rec league team at Rucker Park. It’s probably the most famous rec league in the country, but it’s still a rec league. And I’m not sure how much he actually coaches. Maybe I just don’t know, and Joey Crack is a real X’s and O’s guy, but I have trouble picturing him timing suicide drills and gradually installing a zone press break. Anyway, I still want to know more about these people who are begging him to talk about his experience at the Rucker. Apparently they’re convincing. He refuses to elaborate until his defenses are broken down in the very next line. And if the team didn’t have to play to win a championship, I guess the other team forfeited? 2-0: like a motherfucking boss.

“Ha Ha” samples an effervescent Soul II Soul loop and has a low end that recalls golden era hip-hop while still sounding fresh. Large Joseph does not disappoint on his end, pulling out a bag of tricks that sets the tone for all major label rap in 2010. He says he’ll beat you uglier than Precious. He mispronounces (on purpose?) “ambidextrous.” He mentions a boxer, keeping his streak alive.

Young Jeezy, Joe’s partner on the song, describes his Phantom as “Avatar blue” in what’s one of the easiest layups in recent rap history, and he’s also responsible for the song’s chorus, which, though ridiculous, really works. “I said we came in this bitch tonight to murder things/We gonna leave this bitch tonight a murder scene/In black from head to toe, we murder clean/Do you know the name of the clique that murders teams? What’s up?”

I can’t help but picture two huge dudes standing in front of the velvet rope of a club. A guy with a clipboard approaches them and asks, “What are you guys here for?”
“Oh us? We came tonight to murder things.”
“To mu—I’m not sure that’s going to be okay. I’m afraid I can’t let you in.”
“What my friend means to say is that we murder clean. As you can see, we’re in black from head to toe.”
“Ah yes. Of course. Well as long as you’re doing it clean. Come on in. Two drink minimum tonight.”
As if that excuses things, you know?

(It reminds me of Carl Douglas’ “Kung Fu Fighting.” Everybody was kung fu fighting fast as lightning—okay, I’m with you. Scary scene. “But they did it with expert timing.” That’s totally the wrong conjunction. The expert timing makes the kung fu that much more deadly. It would make the situation more dangerous, not excuse it. There was a lot long with disco, but few people mention the grammar and usage.)

I can ridicule Fat Joe as much as I want, but every once in a while he cuts through all of my snark and delivers something that approaches poignancy. Here he tosses off, “Recession got the hood pushin’ more than time clocks/So I dropped a hundred in the streets—I don’t buy stocks.” It’s couplets like that that remind you how he can sneak up on you. After all, there’s a reason he’s been around for fifteen years, and it’s not all unintentional comedy.